My Parents Passed Away When I Was

Life Is Short. You Have To Be Able To Laugh At Our Pain Or We Never Move On.

Before You Can Be All Deprecating It's Helpful To Be Self-deprecating.

I've Always Liked Cops, As Much As You Can Like A Group Of People, You Know? Sure, I've Been Hassled, But I'm A White Dude - Privileged.

My Best Friend Is Disabled. There's Nothing He Hates More Than Being Left Out Of The Jokes, To Be Treated With Kid Gloves. That's The Insult.

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.