It Was A Stretch To Imagine That

Face It Girls. I'm Older And I Have More Insurance.

Daddy Gave Me Real Useful Information To Protect Me In The Real World. If Anyone Hits Me, I'm Not To Hit Them Back. I Wait Until Their Back Is Turned, Then Hit Them In The Head With A Brick.

I Brought A Picture With Me That I Had At Home, Of A Girl In A Swing With A Castle And Pretty Blue Bubbles In The Background, To Hang In My Room, But That Nurse Here Said The Girl Was Naked From The Waist Up And Not Appropriate. You Know, I've Had That Picture For Fifty Years And I Never Knew She Was Naked. If You Ask Me, I Don't Think The Old Men They've Got Here Can See Well Enough To Notice That She's Bare-breasted. But, This Is A Methodist Home, So She's In The Closet With My Gallstones.

It Was A Stretch To Imagine That Barbara Walters Might Want To Give It All Up For Ed Couch, But Evelyn Tried Her Hardest. Of Course, Even Though She Was Not Religious, It Was A Comfort To Know That The Bible Backed Her Up In Being A Doormat.

Yes, I Suffer Terribly From Depression. I Have To Work At Being Happy, It's Not My Natural Instinct. My Natural Instinct Is, If Something Wonderful Happens, To Throw Water In My Own Face.