If You Are Someone, You Know, With

I Have This Mistress: Show Business.

Parents, Just Keep In Mind That Kids Will Always Round Off To The Nearest Obscenity.

My Wife Gets So Jealous. She Came Home From Work And Was Mad At Me Because There Was A Pretty Girl On The Bus She Thought I Would Have Liked.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.

You Might Think That's An Exaggeration But Believe Me, If You Leave Twin Two-year-olds Alone In Your Living Room, At Some Point A Cow Will Be Airborne.