I Always Loved Comedy, But I Never

It Turns Out Most Of The Conclusions That I've Come To In Life Have Equally Valid Contradictions. I Think It's True You Need To Make A Plan, Set A Goal And Stick To It, But I Would Also Advise: Don't Keep Your Eyes So Fixed On Your Goal That You Miss What Sneaks Up To Surprise You, Because Magic Will Come From Unexpected Places.

People Often Ask Me, "what's The Difference Between Couplehood And Babyhood?" In A Word? Moisture. Everything In My Life Is Now More Moist. Between Your Spittle, Your Diapers, Your Spit-up And Drool, You Got Your Baby Food, Your Wipes, Your Formula, Your Leaky Bottles, Sweaty Baby Backs, And Numerous Other Untraceable Sources-all Creating An Ever-present Moistness In My Life, Which Heretofore Was Mainly Dry.

My Wife And I Never Agree On The Dishtowels. It's A Matter Of Terms. She Asks Me Not To Put The Dishtowel In The Sink. So I Drape It Over The Sink, But Not In The Sink. If That's Our Biggest Problem, I Think We're In Good Shape.

I'd Never Directed Before And This Movie's Too Important To Me To Put In The Hands Of Some Guy Who Has Never Directed. Even If It's Me

There's Something That Happens In That Delivery Room, When A Woman Becomes Ten Times More A Woman, And A Guy Becomes Six Times Less A Man. You Feel Really Dopey And Useless And Like A Spectator. I Did, Anyway.