List of Paul Merton Quotes

Am I Allowed To Call Myself Working-class Now? Because Obviously I'm Now Very Rich.

All Disc Jockeys Are Without Talent. Noel Edmonds - I Can't Stand Noel Edmonds.

When I Was Nine I Spent A Lot Of My Time Reading Books About The History Of Comedy, Or Listening To The Goons Or Hancock, Humour From Previous Generations.

I Don't Always Vote In General Elections, But I Think I've Always Voted Labour.

And Like The Old Stereotype, I Overcame My Shyness By Making My Friends Laugh.

I've Never Been Disappointed By Politicians. I've Never Invested That Much In Them In The First Place.

I Really Don't Take Any Interest At All In Contemporary Comedy.

In Fact, I Don't Watch A Lot Of Contemporary Comedy For Fear Of Being Influenced By It.

Have You Ever Had Sex With A Horse?

The Thing About Improvisation Is That It's Not About What You Say. It's Listening To What Other People Say. It's About What You Hear.

When I Turned About 12 Or 13, I Realised That Being Funny Wasn't About Remembering Jokes. It Was About Creating Them.

If You Became A Comedian In The '80s, You Had To Work The Circuit And Make People Laugh. Canned Laughter Is Cheating.