When I Turned About 12 Or 13,

My School Days Were The Happiest Days Of My Life; Which Should Give You Some Indication Of The Misery I've Endured Over The Past Twenty-five Years.

It Was A Bizarre Existence I Led In My Early Twenties - That Cliche Of The Comedian Who Goes Out And Entertains A Roomful Of People And Then Goes Home To A Lonely Bedsit Was Unbelievably Poignant For Me Because That Was Exactly What I Was Doing. I Had Periods Of Real Loneliness.

I've Never Been Disappointed By Politicians. I've Never Invested That Much In Them In The First Place.

Have You Ever Had Sex With A Horse?

On My First Day In New York A Guy Asked Me If I Knew Where Central Park Was. When I Told Him I Didn't, He Said: Do You Mind If I Mug You Here?