When I Was A Kid I Did

I Bought A Hummer Before I Bought A House, And Then I Bought A House. Every Year, Everything Doubled. The Work Was Doubling. The Money Was Doubling. The Popularity Was Doubling.

In The Beginning, When I Was Doing My Shows, I Was Incorporating A Lot Of Spanish, Just Trying To Be A Latino Comic Instead Of Just A Comic. Now I Try To Make The Show As Broad As Possible... I Don't Want To Alienate People. I Want To Make It So Everybody Can Follow Along And Everybody Can Relate.

I Don't Wanna Just Be Remembered For The Funniest Guy In My Neighborhood.

I Go On The Road All The Time, But I'm Only Performing For Two Hours A Night, And Then I'll Do A Meet-and-greet, And Then I'll Get A Bite To Eat, Get Drunk, Pass Out, Wake Up The Next Day, Sleeping The Next Day, Sleeping Off The Hangover, And Then I'm In The Next City.

When I Was A Kid I Did Impressions And Funny Voices A Lot. When I Was Telling A Story I Would Use The Voices To Make It More Entertaining.