Valentine's Day Is The Day When You

Marriage Is One Of The Few Institutions That Allow A Man To Do As His Wife Pleases.

War Toys Are Scary. They Have A Rocket Launcher With A Bayonet Attached, In Case You Miss.

Poverty Is Not A Disgrace, But It's Terribly Inconvenient.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

We Owe A Lot To Thomas Edison - If It Wasn't For Him, We'd Be Watching Television By Candlelight.