Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

I Went To A Gay Bar, They Wanted Proof Of Sex So I Showed Them, They Said It Wasn't Enough.

With My Dog I Don't Get No Respect. He Keeps Barking At The Front Door. He Don't Want To Go Out. He Wants Me To Leave.

A Travel Agent Told I Could Spend 7 Nights In Hawaii No Days Just Nights.

Never Guess Your Wife's Size. Just Buy Anything Marked Petite And Hold On To The Receipt.