My Character, Rick Spleen, Is A What-if

One Of My Friends Went On A Murder Weekend, Now He Is Doing Life For It.

Maybe I Fear Things Going Wrong So Much That I Pre-empt Them By Not Getting Excited About Them When They Appear To Be. Going Well.

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.

But I Like Going To Church. If You've Been Brought Up In The Church Of England, It Feels Like Visiting An Elderly Relative. And I Think It's Important That Part Of The Kids' Education Is Knowing About The Bible.

Make Lots Of Money. Enjoy The Work. Operate Within The Law. Choose Any Two Of Three