If Writers Were Good Businessmen, They'd Have

Golf - A Young Man's Vice And An Old Man's Penance.

An Epitaph Is A Belated Advertisement For A Line Of Goods That Have Been Permanently Discontinued.

Middle Age: When You Begin To Exchange Your Emotions For Symptoms.

If A Woman Likes Another Woman, She's Cordial. If She Doesn't Like Her, She's Very Cordial.

A Funeral Eulogy Is A Belated Plea For The Defense Delivered After The Evidence Is All In.