I'm Not Saying My Mother Didn't Like

I Went To The Doctor Last Week. I Said: 'can I Have Some Sleeping Pills For The Wife?' He Said: 'why?' I Said: 'she's Woke Up.

In Awe, I Watched The Waxing Moon Ride Across The Zenith Of The Heavens Like An Ambered Chariot Towards The Ebony Void Of Infinite Space Wherein The Tethered Belts Of Jupiter And Mars Hang, For Ever Festooned In Their Orbital Majesty. And As I Looked At All This I Thought... I Must Put A Roof On This Toilet.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

With Wives, Men Hide Behind The Air Of Bravado, Which Is Basically A Defence Mechanism, I Think. Clever Creatures, Women. Very Clever.

I Know My Name Will Always Be Linked With Women.