Arnold Schwarzenegger Looks Like A Brown Condom

The First Language That I Learned Was Italian In Italy In The Early And Middle-'60s And I Had To Do That To Keep Up With The Young Men Who Were Courting My Wife.

When You Cut It Up, Put The Pieces In Your Mouth And Swallowed Them, The British Hamburger Shaped Itself To The Bottom On Your Stomach Like Ballast, While Interacting With Your Gastric Juices To Form An Incipient Belch Of Enormous Potential, An Airship Which Had Been Inflated In A Garage. This Belch, When Silently Released, Would Cause People Standing Twenty Yards Away To Start Examining The Soles Of Their Shoes. The Vocalized Version Sounded Like A Bag Of Tools Thrown Into A Bog.

Twin Miracles Of Mascara, Her Eyes Looked Like The Corpses Of Two Small Crows That Had Crashed Into A Chalk Cliff.

People Should Be Stopped From Writing Poetry. There's Far Too Much Of It. And If They're Any Good, They'll Go Ahead Anyways.

It Is Almost Better To Be An Impulse Shirt-buyer Than An Impulse Shoe-buyer. I Have Worn Shirts That Made People Think I Was A Retired Mafia Hit-man Or A Yugoslavian Sports Convener From Split, But I Have Worn Shoes That Made People Think I Was Insane.