A Study Says Owning A Dog Makes

No Man Will Ever Put His Hand Up Your Dress Looking For A Library Card.

What Are People Going To Do? Fire Me? I've Been Fired Before. Not Book Me? I've Been Out Of Work Before. I Don't Care.

Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh At Everything, Otherwise We're Going Down The Tube.

Valentine's Day Is Different For Old People. At This Age I Receive Chocolates In Boxes Shaped Like Artificial Hearts.

My Parents Hated Me. All I Ever Heard Was, "why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia? Why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia?" Shelia Had Died At Birth.