List of Tim Allen Quotes

I Am A Thespian Trapped In A Man's Body.

For Years, I Just Did Not Like This Idea Of God, Church.

I Do A Lot Of Family Shows.

I Wonder If To Stare Into The Face Of God Will Drive Me Crazy. (i Wonder Who Would Blink First.)

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio

Before Kady Was Born, I Didn't Think Having A Kid Would Be Such A Big Deal. My Attitude Was Simple: Babies Are Nice, Play With Them, Put Them In The Closet Until The Next Time.

The Big Advantage To Playing The Venetian In Las Vegas - Where It's A Beautiful Theater - Is That Unlike Other Places, Even Many Other Nice Venues, I Can Do A Set And Lighting Cues, I Can Put On A Real Show. I Can Dress Up, Wear A Tux.

When I Went To Jail, Reality Hit So Hard That It Took My Breath Away, Took My Stance Away, Took My Strength Away. I Was There Buck Naked, Humiliated, Sitting In My Own Crap And Urine - This Is A Metaphor. My Ego Had Run Off. Your Ego Is The Biggest Coward.

A Car Crossed Two Lanes Of Traffic, Flipped, And Landed On My Dad's Car. I Don't Blame Cars. My Dad Loved Cars. I Don't Have Many Memories Of My Dad. The Love Of Cars Is All I Have Of Him, Really.

Nothing's As Easy As It Is On A Sitcom. Issues That We Take Care Of In 20 Minutes On The Show Can Stretch Out Over Years In Real Families.

Comedy Is The Ultimate Anarchist.

I Was Gone So Much In My First Marriage. I Love The Moments When I Engage With My Youngest Daughter Now. It's Not My Thing To Sit On The Ground And Play Tea Party, But I'll Do It Because It's A Moment That Will Stick With Me Forever.