List of Les Dawson Quotes

Slumps Don't Bother Me.

The Mother-in-law Is The Centre Of A Family.

I Know My Name Will Always Be Linked With Women.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.

Marriage Is An Institution And That's Where A Couple Finishes Up.

Despite The Fact That Feminists Say They're Not Getting A Fair Deal, Women Are Still Very Powerful.

With Wives, Men Hide Behind The Air Of Bravado, Which Is Basically A Defence Mechanism, I Think. Clever Creatures, Women. Very Clever.

He Had Ambitions, At One Time, To Become A Sex Maniac, But He Failed His Practical.

The Mother-in-law Had An Accident At Work. A Hot Rivet Dropped Down Her Drawers And She Fell Off The Oil Rig.

How Can You Analyse What Is Funny? What's Funny To One Isn't Funny To Another... What's Funny To You Is A Personal Thing.

I Discovered The Wife's Got Asthma. Thank God - I Thought She Was Hissing At Me.

My Mother-in-law Had To Stop Skipping For Exercise. It Registered Seven On The Richter Scale.