List of Lenny Bruce Quotes

If I Get Busted In New York, The Freest City In The World, That Will Be The End Of My Career.

I Want To Perform An Unnatural Act.

You Can't Just Run Out And Start The Car Until Some Cat Invents A Car.

I Know What "custody" [of The Children] Means. "get Even." That's All Custody Means. Get Even With Your Old Lady.

I Was A Jew Talking About Goyim Religion. If I Had Just Stuck To Moses, Everything Would Have Been Cool. But, Copping To Being Part Of The Whole Christ Murder Conspiracy Got Everyone Goose-stepping Again.

I Credit The Motion Picture Industry As The Strongest Environmental Factor In Molding The Children Of My Day.

Even If You Are Catholic, If You Live In New York You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You Are Going To Be Goyish Even If You Are Jewish.

Communism Is Just One Big Telephone Company.

The Only Honest Art Form Is Laughter, Comedy. You Can't Fake It... Try To Fake Three Laughs In An Hour - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha - They'll Take You Away, Man. You Can't.

There's Always A Down Side With Any Freedom. It's Not Just Homosexual Freedom, But Any Sexual Freedom Comes At A Price, And That Is Usually Art.

I'm Not A Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

There Is Only What Is And That's It. What Should Be Is A Dirty Lie.