List of Fred Allen Quotes

The First Thing That Strikes A Visitor To Paris Is A Taxi.

The S.s. Sierra Was A Ten-thousand-ton Vessel. Today, Lifeboats Bigger Than The Sierra Are Found On The Queen Mary And Other Luxury Liners.

Her Hat Is A Creation That Will Never Go Out Of Style; It Will Just Look Ridiculous Year After Year.

A Telescope Will Magnify A Star A Thousand Times, But A Good Press Agent Can Do Even Better.

Father Time Is The Make-up Man Responsible For The Physical Changes That Determine The Parts The Average Actor Is To Play.

When Jack Benny Plays The Violin, It Sounds As Though The Strings Are Still In The Cat.

He Has No Idea What It Was Like To Grow Up In The South, Where You Had To Hold Your Head Down.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four.

He's So Small, He's A Waste Of Skin.

Television Is A Triumph Of Equipment Over People.

I Have Just Returned From Boston. It Is The Only Thing To Do If You Find Yourself Up There.

He Always Had A Chip On His Shoulder That He Was Ready To Use To Kindle An Argument.