List of A. Whitney Brown Quotes

You Know, You Look At The Chaos In The Conservative Camp Right Now, It's Only Too Tempting To Blame It All On Pot. But In Fact, The Reagan Revolution Owes A Lot To Reefer. For One Thing, It's Made The Symptoms Of Senility Socially Acceptable.

I Never Joined, But I Used To Go To Church Now And Then. I Liked It, Because They Always Passed Out Plates Of Money At The End.

I Think It's Time To Stop Carping On The Blunders Of The President And Give Him Some Credit For Creativity. I Mean, Where Do You Even Find A Jewish Hard-line Conservative Republican Pot-smoker? Sounds Like An Oprah Winfrey Guest.

The Bible Says, 'the Truth Shall Make You Free.' But Let's Not Forget It Was Spiro Agnew Who Said That A Good Lie Will Keep You Out Of Jail In The First Place.

That Is The Saving Grace Of Humor, If You Fail No One Is Laughing At You.

I Don't Know Whether You Have Any Rights Before You're Born. All I Know Is That Being Born Again Doesn't Entitle You To Twice As Many.

Enjoy Every Minute. There's Plenty Of Time To Be Dead.

I'm Not An Athiest. How Can You Not Believe In Something That Doesn't Exist? That's Way Too Convoluted For Me.

The Baptists' Basic Theology Is That If You Hold Someone Under Water Long Enough, He'll Come Around To Your Way Of Thinking. It's A Ritual Known As 'bobbing For Baptists.'

There's A Lot We Should Be Able To Learn From History. And Yet History Proves That We Never Do. In Fact, The Main Lesson Of History Is That We Never Learn The Lessons Of History. This Makes Us Look So Stupid That Few People Care To Read It. They'd Rather Not Be Reminded. Any Good History Book Is Mainly Just A Long List Of Mistakes, Complete With Names And Dates. It's Very Embarrassing.

I Don't Know If The Unborn Has Rights, But I Do Know That Being Born Again Doesn't Give You More Rights.

Once Again Decent Citizens Will Be Able To Enter This House Of Worship, Kneel Down In Front Of A Nearly-naked Man Hanging From A Wooden Apparatus By A Series Of Gruesome Body Piercings, And Engage In Their Bizarre Practices Of Ritualized Blood-drinking And Cannibalism Without Being Assaulted By Graphic Images Of Attractive Young Women With Bare Breasts.