You Know You're Lazy When You Run

Valentine's Day Is A Time To Celebrate The Joy Of Being In Love. Unless You're Single & Lonely Then It's Called Laundry Day.

I Don't Get Any Anxiety. I Don't Because Of Two Reasons. Number One, Just Breaking Through It As A Kid And Finally Getting Past It Was Like Okay, Nothing's Ever Going To Feel That Scary Again As That Deafening Silence Of A Joke Not Working. Any Joke Not Working Is Not As Bad As Not Being Able To Even Try And Get On Stage.

You Can Try To Steal The Thunder All You Want, It Just Reminds People I'm The Lightning. You Rumble In The Distance. I Light Up The Sky.

Someone Needs To Make A Zombie Movie Where When You Get Bit It Turns You Into A Singing And Dancing Extraordinaire.

Strip Clubs Are Great Places To Meet Interesting People You Only Wanna Know For About 40 Minutes.