With Stand-up, You Can Be As Freeform

The Things I Care About Are The Most Pedestrian Things In The World. I Care About Good Ice Cream And Being A Good Dad And A Decent Husband.

So My Reaction To Hearing This Corny-ass, Horrible Song ["with Arms Wide Open" By Creed] Is Violent, Uncontrollable, Sustained Weeping.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

My Tastes In All Things Lean Towards The Arty And Boring. I Like Sports Documentaries About Scrabble Players, Bands That Play Quiet, Unassuming Music, And Tv Shows That Win Awards. In That Way, I Am An Elitist Snob. And Proud Of It.

Any Time I Am Involved In Something From Conception To Execution, That's Obviously A Lot More Personal, And I'm Going To Be More Invested In It Than Something Where I Just Show Up For A Couple Days, Shoot, And Leave.