When I Was A Kid I Got

My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

I Remember The Time I Was Kidnapped And They Sent A Piece Of My Finger To My Father. He Said He Wanted More Proof.

I Asked My Wife If She Would Put Out The Garbage. She Said Why Should I You Never Put Out For Me.

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

I Can't Figure Women Out. They Put On Makeup For Three Hours. They Wear Things That Make Them Smaller. Things That Make Them Bigger. Then They Meet A Man And They Want Truth.