The True Test Of Humility Is Whether

Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children - It Leaves Your Midsection Unprotected.

There's So Much Pollution In The Air Now That If It Weren't For Our Lungs There'd Be No Place To Put It All.

Inflation Is The Crabgrass In Your Savings.

Sometimes I Get The Feeling The Whole World Is Against Me, But Deep Down I Know That's Not True. Some Of The Smaller Countries Are Neutral.

My Wife Never Lies About Her Age. She Just Tells Everyone She's As Old As I Am. Then She Lies About My Age.