Ted Cruz Raised Over A Million Dollars

In A New Interview, The President Discussed The Upcoming Election. He Said That Hillary Clinton Is Going To Do Great As A Presidential Candidate. When Asked How Biden Would Do, Obama Said, 'hillary's Going To Do Great.'

The One Thing You Shouldn't Do Is Try To Tell A Cab Driver How To Get Somewhere.

New Scientist Magazine Reported That In The Future, Cars Could Be Powered By Hazelnuts. That's Encouraging, Considering An Eight-ounce Jar Of Hazelnuts Costs About Nine Dollars. Yeah, I've Got An Idea For A Car That Runs On Bald Eagle Heads And Faberge Eggs.

During A Charity Boxing Match On Friday, Mitt Romney Lasted Two Rounds Against Evander Holyfield And Raised A Million Dollars. It Was Just Like Holyfield's Fight With Mike Tyson, Except Romney Chewed Off His Other Ear Talking About His 18 Grandchildren.

Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.