Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is

I Think My Favorite Sound Is The Sound Of Someone Not Playing The Bongos.

I Think Statues Are Great; They Show What Great People Would Look Like If A Bird Sh*t All Over Them.

When Watering Your Plants, Try To Talk To Them - Say Something Like, Hold It Right There And Then Shoot Them With Water Gun.

I've Heard Of Many Chocoholics, But I Ain't Never Seen No "chocohol". We Got An Epidemic, People: People Who Like Chocolate But Don't Understand Word Endings. They're Probably "over-workaholled".

Whenever I Throw Caution To The Wind I Make Sure I'm Facing The Right Way So That It Doesn't Blow Back And Hit Me In My Face.