Shuffling Really Isn't Something You Should Be

My Tastes In All Things Lean Towards The Arty And Boring. I Like Sports Documentaries About Scrabble Players, Bands That Play Quiet, Unassuming Music, And Tv Shows That Win Awards. In That Way, I Am An Elitist Snob. And Proud Of It.

I Never Really Understood What Was Expected Of Me As A Man, Or How I Was Supposed To Interact With Women, But Worse, With Other Guys. I Did Not Relate To Them.

My Goal Is To Work. That's The Goal Of Most Actors Or Performers: To Work And Keep Working, And Do The Best You Can, And Keep Growing And Changing, Trying To Improve Your Craft.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

I Feel No Obligation To Teach My Readers Anything, To Impart Any Sort Of Wisdom, To Teach Any Sort Of Lesson, To Instill Any Sort Of Morality. All I'm Trying To Do Is Make Them And Their Parents Laugh.