She's So Pure, Moses Couldn't Even Part

You Don’t Marry For Love. What Does Love Got To Do With Marriage? I Spit On Love And Marriage. You Marry For Money.

My Body Is Dropping So Fast, My Gynecologist Wears A Hard Hat.

I Said Justin Bieber Looked Like A Little Lesbian -- And I Stand By It: He's The Daughter Cher Wishes She'd Had.

If I Found Yoko Ono Floating In My Pool, I'd Punish My Dog.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.