Parents Often Give Middle Names Just So

The Simple Combination Of Letters And Sounds You Select As A Name For Your Baby Can Result In A Life Of Carefree Coolness Or Decades Of Expensive Therapy. Hi, I'm Jake Versus Hi, I'm... Tapioca

Middle Names Are Kind Of Like Vice Presidents: It's A Fine Distinction And Certainly An Honor, But You're Never Not Aware That Someone Else Got The Real Job.

Every Time I See Peter Falk In The Movie I Think That Would Be Great. We'd Be Fun Together

It Was Trying To Make My Tennis Game Look Mildly Respectable, Which I Found You Don't Even Really Need To Practice If You Have A Really Good Editor. They Can Edit It And You're Like, "hey, It Looks Like I'm Playing Really Well." That Was The Fun Part, But It Was Like Going To Summer Camp.

The Most Challenging Part Of Being A Dad Is Trying To Postpone The Moment When They Realize You Don't Know Anything. I Love Any Sentence That Begins With Daddy...? Because It's Implied They're Looking Up To You - That You'll Have The Answer. The Truth Is, I Don't Have Any Answers.