Only Men Who Have Worn A Ski

I Got Kicked Out Of Ballet Class Because I Pulled A Groin Muscle. It Wasn't Mine.

We Live In Los Angeles, Where You Are Expected To Move Every Two To Four Years, So People Can See How Well Your Career Is Going.

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

My Parents Always Told Me I Could Do Anything, But Never Told Me How Long It Would Take

My Husband Gave Me A Necklace. It's Fake. I Requested Fake. Maybe I'm Paranoid, But In This Day And Age, I Don't Want Something Around My Neck That's Worth More Than My Head.