I Got Kicked Out Of Ballet Class

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.

I Started Taking Ballet Lessons When I Was 4, And I Was Performing In Ballet Companies When I Was 10, And I Did Summer Stock In Miami Beach When I Was 12, And Finally I Said, 'i Gotta Go To Broadway.'

Oh, My God. I've Just Told You How Old I Am. Nobody Knows How Old I Am. I'm Going To Have To Kill You Now.

Some People Think Having Large Breasts Makes A Woman Stupid. Actually, It's Quite The Opposite: A Woman Having Large Breasts Makes Men Stupid.

Husband: A Man Who Buys His Football Tickets Four Months In Advance And Waits Until The Day Before His Anniversary To Buy His Wife A Gift.