Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco.

The Taxpayers Are Sending Congressmen On Expensive Trips Abroad. It Might Be Worth It Except They Keep Coming Back

My Father Was One-eighth Cherokee Indian And My Mother Was Quarter-blood Cherokee. I Never Got Far Enough In Arithmetic To Figure Out How Much Injun That Made Me, But There's Nothing Of Which I Am More Proud Than My Cherokee Blood.

People Are Getting Smarter Nowadays; They Are Letting Lawyers, Instead Of Their Conscience, Be Their Guide.

When I Die, My Epitaph Or Whatever You Call Those Signs On Gravestones Is Going To Read: "i Joked About Every Prominent Man Of My Time, But I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like." I Am So Proud Of That I Can Hardly Wait To Die So It Can Be Carved. And When You Come To My Grave You Will Find Me Sitting There, Proudly Reading It.

Let Wall Street Have A Nightmare And The Whole Country Has To Help Them Back To Bed Again.