My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The

I Just Had A Pedicure. My Feet Are Soft Like A Baby's Behind. If His Ass Was Covered In Calluses.

Nobody Can Tell Me What I Can Or Can't Do, Except They Can.

No One Gets A Free Ride. Except Maybe Bus Drivers.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

I Love My Mom! You Can Too For $12!