My Dad Liked To Boil A Squirrel

As A Kid, I Was Always Mad - Just Noticing The Women At Thanksgiving, Running Around The Kitchen, While The Men Were Watching Football. For One, I Don't Want To Cook, And For Two, I Hate Football. I Was Stuck In The Middle.

I Have Been 130 Lbs. As Well As 215 Lbs. I Have Had Blond, Strawberry Blond, Green, Pink And Purple Hair, And None Of That Has Ever Exempted Me From Having Lewd Comments Flung At Me In The Street.

I Certainly Know First Hand The Waste One Lady Can Create Through Her Primping Routine, Because I Am A Victim Of Fashion: To Me A Day Without Makeup And A Bouffant To Match Is A Day Wasted. I Love It All - Whether It's Fancy, Cheap Or, I'm Ashamed To Say, Even If It's Bad For The Environment.

I Can Take Care Of A House, And Some People I Meet, I Think, 'you Don't Even Know How To Make A Bed.

I Was Born Fat And Have Always Been, Which Was Just Fine And Even Healthy And Cute Until I Turned Ten Or So. Puberty Hit Like A Hurricane And Brought A New Set Of Rules. All Of A Sudden It Was My Fault I Was Chubby.