Life Is A Do-it-yourself Kit, So Do

I Asked The Waiter, 'is This Milk Fresh?' He Said, 'lady, Three Hours Ago It Was Grass.'

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Do Not Taste Food While You're Cooking. You May Lose Your Nerve To Serve It.

Your Husband Is Lazy If The Directions On His Medicine Say, "a Teaspoon Before Going To Bed," And In One Day He Uses Seven Bottles.