Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny.

This Weekend President Obama Attended The Annual Gridiron Club Dinner, And During His Speech He Joked That He Is Getting Older And Crankier. Which Explains Why He Announced He No Longer Supports President Obama.

Today Carly Fiorina Announced That She Is Running For President. Someone Else Bought 'carlyfiorina.org' And Posted 30,000 Sad Emoticons To Represent All The People She Laid Off At Hewlett-packard. I Haven't Seen That Many Sad, Blank Faces In One Place Since The Mayweather-pacquiao Fight.

There Couldn't Have Been A Better Hollywood Ending For Us. It's Beyond Baseball. It's Rooting For Your Family.

The U.s. Government Is Selling $30 Billion Worth Of Fighter Jets To Saudi Arabia. Yeah, It's Part Of A New Initiative Called, 'operation Regret This In Five Years.'

The Senate Came One Vote Short Of Granting Approval To Build The Keystone Pipeline. Democrats Say The Pipeline Could Accelerate Global Warming. Then People Who've Been Outside Today Said, 'sounds Good To Me. Let's Accelerate That Global Warming.'