The U.s. Government Is Selling $30 Billion

Vladimir Putin Bribed A Soccer Official With A Picasso Painting So He Would Support Russia's Bid To Host The 2018 World Cup. Putin Was Like, 'it Wasn't Picasso, Just Picture Of What His Face Would Look Like If He Said No.' (nose Over Here, Eye Up Here, Ear In Forehead.)

In A Recent Interview, Jeb Bush Revealed That His Brother George Gave Him The Nickname 'tortoise' Because He's Making Slow, Steady Progress. Though I Think The Bigger Story Here Is That Compared To George, Jeb Is The Slow One.

During A Recent Interview, President Obama Revealed That His Favorite Movie This Year Was 'boyhood.' It Makes Sense. If There's One Thing Obama Can Identify With, It's Aging Several Years Over The Course Of A Couple Of Hours.

I Didn't Act Like I Was There. I Just Got Into The Story.

I Don't Shoot Guns. I Don't Know How To Do That. I Grew Upstate New York, So I Fought With My Fists.