If You Go Down As A Comedian's

How To Survive Boarding School. Do Not Express Emotion, Do Not Feel Emotion, Do Not Have Emotion. If Someone Hits You, Hit Them Back, If Someone Argues With You, Argue Back, Never Give In An Inch, Never Look Vulnerable And You Will Survive.

Puberty Is The Sickest Joke God Plays On Us. So You're Just Noticing Members Of The Sex: "girls Girls, Ooo". Naturally You Want To Look Your Best, And God Says "no! You Will Look The Worst You've Ever Looked In Your Life!"

Scrabble Was Invented By Nazis To Piss Off Kids With Dyslexia.

I Appreciate Your Applause, But I Don't Do It For Applause. I Do It For Cash, It's Much Better.

I Don't Believe In God. I Believe Gods And Devils Are Within Us. It's Our Own Battle. Our Life's Battle Is To Appeal To The Gods Within Us, And To Fight The Devils Within Us.