If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be

Instead Of Getting Married Again, I'm Going To Find A Woman I Don't Like And Give Her A House.

God Bless Merle Haggard. He Did All The Things That Johnny Cash Was Supposed To Have Done.

The Only Way That I Could Figure They Could Improve Upon Coca-cola, One Of Life's Most Delightful Elixirs, Which Studies Prove Will Heal The Sick And Occasionally Raise The Dead, Is To Put Bourbon In It.

It's Difficult To Think Anything But Pleasant Thoughts While Eating A Homegrown Tomato.

Elvis Is Dead And I Don't Feel So Good For Myself.