If I Want A Long, Boring Story

That's Why Breakups Take Two Or Three Times- To Build Up Immunity.

I Have A Nice Bookshelf In My Office, But Not My House. I'm Crass, But Not That Crass.

People Have An Infinite Attention Span If You Are Entertaining Them.

You Can Be Passionate About Anything.

I Have A Friend Who's Collecting Unemployment Insurance. This Guy Has Never Worked So Hard In His Life As He Has To Keep This Thing Going. He's Down There Every Week, Waiting On The Lines And Getting Interviewed And Making Up All These Lies About Looking For Jobs. If They Had Any Idea Of The Effort And Energy That He Is Expending To Avoid Work, I'm Sure They'd Give Him A Raise.