If I Have Sex, I Know My

Everyone Should Have Kids. They Are The Greatest Joy In The World. But They Are Also Terrorists. You'll Realize This As Soon As They Are Born And They Start Using Sleep Deprivation To Break You.

My Wife Gets So Jealous. She Came Home From Work And Was Mad At Me Because There Was A Pretty Girl On The Bus She Thought I Would Have Liked.

I Married A Saint - Well, A Saint Who Curses.

If Golf Wasn't Enjoyable And There Wasn't A Lot Of Humor And Enjoyment, Even Though The Game Is So Frustrating, You Would Wonder Why You Put Yourself Through It.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.