I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

After You Have Loss In Your Life And After You Experience Something Like Losing Your Parents, The Greatest Gift Of That Was It Prepared Me For [anything]. Nothing Else Is As Scary, And Certainly Stand-up Comedy Is Not As Scary As Sitting There With Your Mom And Having To Have Last Conversations And Things Like That. It's Heavy Stuff, But It's Enlightening Because It Makes Me Think I Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Sharing Ideas And Thoughts With People. It's The Yin And The Yang Of Life.

Time Machine... Wouldn't You Like To Travel Through Time? I Would. I'd Go Back... Mess With People. You Know What I Would Do? I Would Go Back To When My Mom And Dad Were Having Sex, To Have Me. Ya'know, Come In, Spank My Dad On The Ass I'm Your Son From The Future! Ahaha!

I Feel Like People Who Don't Brag Are Trying To Make You Jealous By Thinking They're Hiding Something More Even Exciting.

I Work With A Lot Of Kids. Every Year, For The Past Fifteen Years, I Work At Comedy Camp Where I Work With A Lot Of Kids.

You Can Easily Tell If A Person Is Lying And Cheating On You If They Say, I Love You. I Would Never Lie To You Or Cheat On You.