I Tell Jokes For A Check; I'm

Tv Is A Different Animal. I Belong On That Little Screen. The Big Silver Screen, Not So Much, 'cause I've Seen My Face Up Close When It's 25-feet Tall. I'm Okay As Long As You Keep Me In That Little Box.

I Don't Let Nobody Sign For My Money. Me And My Wife Write Our Own Checks. So, If There's Some Money Missing, We Know How It Got Missing.

What You Want Most Out Of Life Is The Thing You Have To Give The Most Of

The Only Way Woman Can Truly Be Completely Satisfied Is To Get Herself Four Different Men--an Old One, An Ugly One, A Mandingo, And A Gay Guy.

Women Are The Real Reason We Get Up Every Day. I'm Talking About Real Men. If There Were No Women, I Would Not Even Have To Bathe, Because Why Would I Care? These Are Guys I'm Hanging With. I Wake Up For A Woman Every Day Of My Life To Make It Happen For Her.