I Read One Chapter Of A Book

I Haven't Been On A Date In Awhile. I Went On Maybe Two Dates In My Whole Life.

Democratic Senator Harry Reid Is Expected To Make A Full Recovery After He Was Exercising With A Resistance Band That Snapped, Causing Him To Fall. The Good News Is He's Fine. The Bad News Is There's No Video Of It.

People Are Being Really Picky About The Upcoming Election. I Read That Americans Do Not Want The Next President To Be A First-term Senator, Be Over 65, Or Have A Former President In The Family. Then The Secret Service Said, 'hey, Whoever Slips Through Slips Through. No Promises.'

President Obama Had Beer With Four Unemployed Construction Workers. And Obama Asked The Guys What Was It Like To Lose Their Jobs, And They Were Like, 'oh, You'll See.'

In A Speech In Texas, Donald Trump Called Hillary Clinton 'easily The Worst Secretary Of State In The History Of Our Country.' When Asked What He Based That On, Trump Said, 'i Heard Me Say It Just Now. So It's Gotta Be True.'