I'm The Kind Of Actor Who Has

It Feels Like A Rash. It Suddenly Seems Like I've Got A Contagion Of Diseases, I Mean Awards. But It's Nice, It's A Nice Feeling. It's So Weird, Because I'm Only 46. A Lifetime Achievement Award... It Feels Like 'i'm Not Over Yet'. I Hope They're Not Trying To Say It's Time To Stop. I'm Only Just Getting The Gist Of It.

The Thing About The Oscars Is Real Life Doesn't Stop. You Have To Get Back To Planet Earth The Following Morning. The Rubbish Needs Taking Out. The Kids Will Be Crying. They'll Need Feeding. Kids Do Not Care Whether You've Been To The Oscars!

I Drink Booze, I Smoke, And I'm Hooked On Caffeine. I Actually Have Been Known To Swear At Times And Belch And Even Raise My Voice When Provoked. And I'm Not Physically Repressed!

People Say, "you're Still Breast-feeding, That's So Generous". Generous, No! It Gives Me Boobs And It Takes My Thighs Away! It's Sort Of Like Natural Liposuction. I'd Carry On Breast-feeding For The Rest Of My Life If I Could.

It's Different When You're An Actor And Playing A Part, But When It's Just You, You Feel Immensely Vulnerable Have Strangers Prodding And Prying.