I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

I Ran Five Miles Today. Then, Finally, I Said, 'here, Lady...take Your Purse.'

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.