I Became A Professional Cricket Teacher About

I'm A Working Stiff, Baby, Just Like Everybody Else.

When Did I Realize I Was God? Well, I Was Praying And I Suddenly Realized I Was Talking To Myself.

I Can't Stand Light. I Hate Weather. My Idea Of Heaven Is Moving From One Smoke-filled Room To Another.

If You Can't Do Something Willingly And Joyfully, Then Don't Do It. If You Give Up Drinking, Don't Go Moaning About It; Go Back On The Bottle. Do. As. Thou. Wilt.

Marriage Is Forever. It's Like Cement.