Home Is Pretty Utopian.

And Bring Me A Hard Copy Of The Internet So I Can Do Some Serious Surfing.

The Greenest Home Is The One You Don't Build. If You Really Want To Save The Earth, Move In With Another Family And Share A House That's Already Built. Better Yet, Live In The Forest And Eat Whatever The Squirrels Don't Want.

The Cheesecake Factory Is A Great Business Model, But If You Take Your Wife There For Your 25th Wedding Anniversary, You Might Not Reach Your 26th.

A Rental Car Is Basically An Ashtray On Wheels.

Newsreader: A Huge Asteroid Could Destroy Earth! And By Coincidence, That's The Subject Of Tonight's Miniseries. Dogbert: In Science, Researchers Proved That This Simple Device Can Keep Idiots Off Your Television Screen. [tv Remote Control] Click.