He Who Laughs Last Didn't Get It

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

When I Was A Kid We Were So Poor, If I Hadn't Been A Boy I Wouldn't Have Had Anything To Play With.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.