For Me, My Life Goal Is To

I Can Never Be Who I Was. I Can Simply Watch Her With Sympathy, Understanding, And Some Measure Of Awe. There She Goes, Backpack On, Headed For The Subway Or The Airport. She Did Her Best With Her Eyeliner. She Learned A New Word She Wants To Try Out On You. She Is Ambling Along. She Is Looking For It.

I Didn't Have To Wait Six Years To Get My Show On The Air, Worry That Someone Else Had A Similar Idea, Or Wait Around For Notes That Took My Voice Out Of The Show.

I Think We All Feel That Way When We're Young We Don't Think Teachers Have Lives. We Don't Think Therapists Have Lives. We Don't Think Doctors Have Lives.

I Remember It Made Me Feel Better Because So Many Of My Friends At School. Were Doing That Stuff And Doing That Stuff On Sleep Overs. But I Just Didn't Feel Ready. It Wasn't Like I Had Any Judgment Of It Being Two Women. It Would Have Scared Me As Much If Not More. I Was Like A Three Month Period In Which All The Words Sleep Over Was Code For Was "let's Get Together And Touch Each Other's Vaginas." And I Was. Haunted. And I Remember Going Home And Feeling Like I Couldn't Tell My Mother Even Though She Would've Understood And Probably Laughed.

I Mean, I - It's So Funny, I Am, You Know, I Am, You Know, A Working Woman Out In The World, But I Still Live With My Parents Half The Time. I've Been Sort Of Taking This Very Long, Stuttering Period Of Moving Out.