Every Time I Get In An Elevator,

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

I Don't Get No Respect, No Respect At All!

What A Doctor I've Got - He's Really Mixed Up. Last Week, He Grabbed My Knee And Told Me To Cough. Then Hit Me In The Balls With A Hammer.

When I Was 3 Years Old, My Parents Got A Dog. I Was Jealous Of The Dog, So They Got Rid Of Me.

She Was So Fat That Her Clothes Are Made By Omar The Tent Maker.